October 18, 2014

Readers' panel: what's it like being a teenager today?

What’s it really like being a teenager today? 
After a 16-year-old wrote a blistering letter to The Times about the way young people are represented in the media, we asked teenagers all over the world to share their experiences.

We asked teens to tell us what it's like to be a teenager today.
We asked teens to tell us what it's like to be a teenager today. 
Photograph: Jon Parker Lee/Alamy


An impassioned plea from a 16-year-old to The Times’ letter page struck a chord on social media last week.
Jenni Herd from Ayrshire wrote a letter to The Times with a clear message for adults: “Has no one ever seen that we are angry at the world we live in? Angry that we will have to clean up your mess while you hold us in contempt, analysing our responses as though we were another species?”
We wanted to know if other teens agreed with Jenni and asked them to get in touch via GuardianWitness to tell us what it’s really like being a teenager today. Our callout was answered by teens all over the world - including Jenni herself.
Here are some of the responses we received to the callout.

“I never thought my letter would actually be published”

I read an article [in The Times headlined How to understand your teenager’s brain] and had been slightly annoyed at the way it was written - less the content, which was obviously aimed for adults, but the general tone of the piece, which seemed too much like a scientist analysing animal behaviour. I mentioned this to my parents that night, and we had a discussion about it. My dad told me if I was so annoyed, I should tell the paper, and on Sunday I did. I wrote it in about 30 minutes, fuelled by annoyance and boredom, and sent it without really thinking. I never thought it would actually be published!
My friend texted me to tell that it had been retweeted over 3000 times on Twitter. I ran downstairs and checked my laptop - and promptly burst into tears! I spent the rest of the night grinning and trawling the internet, shocked and bewildered at the response I was getting. If I’m honest, it still doesn’t feel real. It feels like it’s happening to someone else.
Like I said in my letter, I think quite a lot of teens are bitter about the situation we’re in - everywhere we turn there’s another news item about rising unemployment and house prices, how hard it is to get into university, how hard it is to get a job even if you do get a degree. There’s a constant threat over our heads, and quite a lot of people feel hopeless. What’s the point of studying and working hard if the only reward you’re going to get is another rejection letter? Of course, this is a blatant generalisation and I’m sure a few teenagers will disagree with me.
Teens are generally well represented in the media, but obviously some sources are better than others. Most media outlets are beginning to understand the intelligence and importance of teenagers, especially as teens of my generation become more connected and interested in political affairs (with Scottish Independence looming, rarely a week goes by without some political debate springing up) Sadly, the media can focus more on the negatives of teenage life than the positive.
I think the media needs to collaborate more with teenagers and listen to what we have to say, and most importantly, not make assumptions about how we think. If they are talking about teenagers, they shouldn’t make sweeping generalisations - we’re facets of humanity just like men and women and adults and another other subset of people. You can’t say all men are slobs; you can’t say all women are bossy; the media need to learn that you can’t say all teenagers are insolent or arrogant.
Jenni Herd, 19, Ayrshire

Don’t tar us all with the same brush

I am a part of a generation which gets some criticism for being lazy, inconsiderate and just expects everything given to them. For some this may be true, but please don’t tar us all with the same brush. When I was 13, I started a paper round. During A-levels I had a job serving food in the canteen at sixth form. Very unglamorous I assure you, a hair net can never look good on anyone.
Moreover, 60 years ago, if you got drunk at a party no one filmed it. Now it’s on Facebook. Have you ever considered that maybe it’s just more obvious the failings of my generation are because of social media?
The frustrations of being young cause me great anxiety because I listen to political debates and choices I can’t decide or join in with until I turned 18 years old. The government are making decisions over my future, and my children’s future. We have to clean up the mess, when our current politicians exit the political game. All the economic debt? We have to pay it back!
Rebecca Latz, 16, Yorkshire

Our generation is by far the weirdest, most creative and loving generation to date

Being a teenager puts a lot of stress on a young mind. We are pressured to make decisions that will impact our entire life, such as our career and education - we should not be tied down to decisions we make now but free to express our interests in several areas of expertise.
We are young but this does not necessarily mean we cannot contribute to ongoing and real world problems, such as politics. We do need a change and maybe a fresh perspective rather than to create mindless drones miserably living their lives.
This generation, our generation, is by the far the weirdest, most creative and loving generation to date. In my eyes, if we are given the opportunity to express our ideas and give our opinions we can really change the world. We are not like the teenagers you see on TV getting drunk, getting into fights preying on the old and weak. We are a generation surrounded by information and potential, which if not used or pointed in the right direction will eventually be wasted wishing we had made a difference when we could and should have.
Dylan McGrath, 16, Queensland, Australia

We deserve more than the false labels given to us by the media

Being a teenager in the ‘online generation’ is not all bad. Yes, we are angry about many issues - homophobia, racism and misogyny to name a few (attitudes which admittedly still exist among some within our generation). On top of this, we face the highest ever university fees, after which improved employment is not guaranteed, immense pressure for examinations which Michael Gove himself has claimed are “too easy” and pressure to look and act a certain way.
But platforms like Twitter and Facebook allow us to connect in new ways- both with those we are friend with in ‘real life’ and people around the world- whether it be celebrities, news channels or other teenagers, going through the same trials and tribulations as ourselves. People have a desire to improve the world they live in, using the internet to spread messages against misogyny, homophobia and racism and travelling the world to set up schools and improve medical services in areas less fortunate than our own. Although not perfect- a ‘lad’ culture where boys compete for status still exists, some of us are lazy and others still rebel against the law, as a whole our generation is good- we deserve more than the false labels given to us by the media.
Katt Weaver, 16, North Yorkshire

Change is coming - we could be a remarkable generation

I find life as a young person pretty overwhelming. I’m overwhelmed by the mess our society is in. I am overwhelmed by the number of people living in poverty and without education (in our own ‘developed’ country). I’m overwhelmed by the sexism, racism, homophobia, classism, ableism etc in our society. I am overwhelmed by the destruction of our natural world and the total lack of any respect for the environment by many people.
I am overwhelmed by the violence in our world. I am overwhelmed by the number of people suffering mental health issues and wish our society could move toward focus on well being rather than wealth. And I am overwhelmed by the number of people who respond to my ideals with flat out denials and declares that I can not make a difference. I can make a difference. And collectively we can make a huge difference.
This is the one thing that keeps me going. Though some are certainly apathetic, there are growing numbers of young people who know that change is necessary and change is going to come. This keeps me getting up in the morning when I feel insignificant and sad about many things in the world. If we each focus on our passions and skills we could be a remarkable generation.
Helena Bevan, just turned 20, Essex

We’re not seen as individuals

We are told we are almost adults now and that we have to act like one. However when it comes to being treated like one we are still kids. It’s a delicate age. I’m 18 years old, not the most sociable person, I spend a lot of time online. When I go out I do try to be confident in speaking to people but it’s hard to find the balance between confident and not coming across as a cocky teen.
We’re denied opportunities based on our age, discriminated against with things like car insurance because a select few choose to abuse the privilege of driving a car. We’re not seen as individuals however as a collective group of “teens” which often makes it harder to do ordinary things such as get a job, drive etc etc.
The branding of children with things such as ADHD, OCD and the likes are scaremongering youth into believing that they are not normal, all of this stacked with pressure to be like adults is causing anxiety levels comparable to that of asylums many years ago.
Its tough and frustrating being a teen today and there’s a lot of generalisation that makes it hard to be yourself.
Joel George, 18, Yorkshire
Read more responses to our callout on GuardianWitness.
Leave your comment below.

Real teens speak out against bullying

“No one in this world ever deserves to be bullied and brought down by people. And no one deserves to hold in all those situations that have happened to them. If you are being bullied open up and talk about it. I know it is hard to do but you are not alone. Others get bullied and know how you feel. People love you and will listen to you and be there for you. Stand up against bullying today.”
Jessica – 17 – Michigan

“No one deserves to be bullied. It is just not right and fair. You are not alone. I had a friend who was bullied and I came to help and stopped it. When you see someone being bullied please tell an adult or try to stop it yourself.”
Bob – 19 – North Carolina

“When I went into middle school there was a boy who everyone just “decided” to pick on. He would always sit alone at lunch and never once had a friend to call his own. But I never said a word. I was too scared to lose my friends… I was too selfish to help someone in need. A few years later I remembered how many times this boy had tried to talk to me… it made me cry thinking of how alone he must of felt. Never again will I EVER let anyone decide who is ” worthy” enough to be happy and have friends. And I want others to learn from my mistake. When you see someone down on the ground, have the courage to be the hand that picks them up.”
Angela – 16 – Des Moines IA
"My best friend was bullied because a boy in my grade spread a rumor she was lesbian. Not only was it mean to her to bully her, but it was also mean because they said it like being gay was a bad thing. She didn't want anyone to know, and she was a bystander to herself for a long time. From that it got worse, until me and my friend stepped in, and I've learned to never be a bystander."
Jessi — 17 - Massachusetts
What about you? How much do you care about bullying? 
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